Dates,

Definition of a Date - Do you actually have a date?

15:58:00 Vanessa S 0 Comments


As I said in my last post, I need a place to give my 2 cents especially on things I have picked up on and learned over the last handful of years of just dating. I may seem like I am playing, a little, devils advocate here, so... You. Have. Been. Warned.

Go Google the definition of Date and you come up with one of two things. This one is inspired by a good friend of mine, so here goes.

A date can be "a sweet, dark brown, oval fruit containing a hard stone, often eaten dried." but let us be real here, I'm not here to talk about a fruit. That's something for over on Extra Chewy.

date1dāt/
nounnoun: date; plural noun: dates1. the day of the month or year as specified by a number.
"what's the date today?"
synonyms:day, day of the month, occasiontimeMore
a particular day or year when a given event occurred or will occur.
"significant dates like 1776 and 1789"
the years of a person's birth and death or of the beginning and end of a period or event.
"giving the dates of kings and queens"
the period of time to which an artifact or structure belongs.
"the church is the largest of its date"
synonyms:agetimeperioderaepochcenturydecadeyear
"a later date is suggested for this artifact"
2. a social or romantic appointment or engagement.
"a college student on a date with someone he met in class"
synonyms:appointmentmeetingengagementrendezvousassignation;
"a lunch date"
a person with whom one has a social or romantic engagement.
"my date isn't going to show, it seems"
synonyms:partnerescortgirlfriendboyfriendsteady;
informalplus-one
"he's my date for tonight"
a musical or theatrical engagement or performance, especially as part of a tour.
"possible live dates in the near future"
So figure out if you have a date tonight or not yet? Let me help you out.

First definition - a date is the "day of the month or a year as specified by a number". It is a "particular day or year when a given event occurred or will occur." 

So tell me, what day and time this month (hopefully this month) is your date scheduled for? Give me something exact. If you can't give me something exact. It's not a date.

Second definition - a date is " a social or romantic appointment or engagement". 

So tell me is it in your schedule? Is it in your partner's schedule? Did you put it on your calendar but it's not marked as 'busy"?

A date should have 3 things - the day of the month, the time of the day, and the location in which the date is to occur.  You could be as 'go as the flow' as you want, but if you're really into someone and is hoping for this date to happen 100% all 3 elements have to be hammered out. With all 3 set in stone, it makes it harder to back out because now, you actually have to reach out and give a very precise reason why you have to back out of the date and reschedule (if they reschedule, make sure there the big 3 is reset).

A few other questions you should ask yourself to determine if you have a solid date or not (Yes = Date. No = not a date. Maybe = not a date):

  1. Do you know where this 'date' is taking place? 
  2. Do you know how you are going to get there and how long it would take? 
  3. Are other people going to be there?
  4. Were you asked to get together last minute (Day before/same day)?
  5. Does the date start at 9pm or later?
  6. Did they didn't just say "hey do you want to hang out"?
  7. Did they touch base and confirm the night before that the date is on?
If you answered No or Maybe to any of these, or it's the day of your 'date' and you still don't know when or where you are meeting, you should not be afraid to ask and fill in the blanks yourself. Stand up for yourself unless you want to be sitting at home with a bowl of dates, and I'm talking about the fruit!

Correct me if I'm wrong. I'd love to know what your definition of a date is!

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